In an interview nearly two weeks before he hanged himself in jail, Jason Hoffman told a probation officer that he opened fire at Granite Hills High School in March because he wanted a cop to shoot him to death, according to court records.
"I got to thinking, 'What the hell is the point of life?' " the 18-year-old said during an Oct. 16 interview in the downtown jail, according to a report probation officer Ron Anderson was preparing for Hoffman's scheduled Nov. 8 sentencing.
"I wanted to do suicide by cop," Hoffman told Anderson.
The report, released yesterday, raised questions about whether Hoffman was receiving adequate psychiatric attention in jail. Hoffman at one time was under suicide watch, but a month ago was moved to another cell, where early Monday morning he used several strips of bedsheet to hang himself in the county jail in downtown San Diego. The transfer from a padded to a regular cell was made on the advice of a jail doctor.
Hoffman was facing a prison sentence of 27 years to life after he pleaded guilty last month to one count of premeditated attempted murder and five counts of assault in connection with the March 22 attack that wounded three Granite Hills students and two teachers.
Hoffman had been diagnosed before the shooting as clinically depressed and in need of medication, but it was unclear yesterday whether he was receiving any medication while in custody.
Sheriff's Lt. Jerry Lewis said his department would not comment, calling the information confidential. Hoffman's lawyer and the prosecutor in the case said they didn't know the answer to that question.
In a letter to the court dated Friday -- three days before her son killed himself -- Hoffman's mother talked about her son's mental problems. He suffered from clinical depression and an adverse reaction to his anti-depressant medication. His condition made it hard for him to even hold down a job at a fast-food restaurant, she said.
"I believe long-term incarceration will only cripple Jason's mental and emotional state further, unless he is remanded to a state mental facility for continued and ongoing observation and counseling," his mother, Denise Marquez of El Cajon, wrote in the letter.
When her son took his medicine, "I really see a different kid," she wrote. "He is so much more open, positive, happy. Despite what my son did, he is a good kid."
The county Probation Department prepares such reports to assist a judge at a defendant's sentencing. The reports often include interviews with the defendants and also contain sentencing recommendations from the probation officer. They usually become public after the judge imposes the sentence, but Superior Court Judge Herbert Exarhos released the report yesterday.
Hoffman told Anderson that he had been growing increasingly frustrated with his school work -- specifically, a math class he was taking at Cuyamaca College.
"I studied and studied for hours to do well in that class," he said. "After all that work, I felt the job I did in class was not adequate. It bothered me so much I quit class."
Then came an additional psychological blow: His poor performance on a test to join the armed forces.
"I got to thinking, 'What the hell is the point of life?' " Hoffman told Anderson. "It was like I dove off a cliff."
The shooting wasn't planned, Hoffman said. He said he made a spur-of-the-moment decision to head to the school with a shotgun, hoping he would be killed by police.
It was never his intention to target anybody in particular, he said, noting that he loaded the weapon with birdshot. He also brought along a .22-caliber handgun that would be used "for me to kill myself if all else failed," he told the interviewer.
Hoffman disputed the allegation that he went to the school to kill Dan Barnes, the school's dean. Barnes was Hoffman's first target during the shooting but was not hit.
"He was just there when I showed up. I don't think he treated me fairly in the past, but I had never thought about killing him."
Hoffman added: "I am sorry for the people I hurt. I wish I could go back and undo what I did."
"I want people to know that what happened was not the real me," he said. "I was just angry, maybe my medication. It was a fluke of the moment. The person was not the true Jason Hoffman."
Hoffman told police in an interview immediately after his arrest that he had been planning the shooting for years.
After his arrest, he also told police, "No matter how much I work and study, I will never be able to attain the position in life I want to, so what is the point of life?" according to the report.
